Dates N Mates Spotlight

On a wet Wednesday afternoon, Julie and I caught up with Heather Simpson of Dates N Mates. Everyone at C-Change knows who Dates-N-Mates are, but we were keen to hear the latest of what the organisation has got up to recently. I’ve chatted with Heather on a few occasions, but I wasn’t quite sure what her specific role was. “My title is the Community Engagement Lead… a bit of an agony aunt as well,” says Heather. “I love my job. I love working for Dates-n-Mates. You do kind of feel like you’re valued as a person first and an employee second. Not to mention, the members just absolutely give me life. They’re amazing.” Very high praise for Dates-N-Mates indeed. 

Dates N Mates was, of course, founded by a human rights-based approach. It’s website beautifully declares that it is people’s right to live life free of discrimination and to develop friendships and relationships of their choosing, to love and be loved. It began over 15 years ago as a friendship and dating agency. However, Heather tells us that the organisation’s aim has evolved. “We’re becoming a lot more purpose-driven… focusing on the workshops, the education, and capturing the outcomes for members.” It’s doing more things like becoming part of the free condom scheme. They’re holding workshops on consent, healthy relationships, and online dating. On top of this, they’ve teamed up with the NHS’s Sandyford Clinic to improve the accessibility of sexual health screenings.  

On top of this, they have been a force for good in terms of demonstrating political action to fight for the rights of its members. “The Falkirk branch is very involved with Parliament at the moment, trying to advocate for all the problems that are going on in the area that we work in. We even got a shout out in Parliament a couple months ago!” Heather tells us.  

“Dates-N-Mates are working with local MPs and MSPs to try and address… the unintended consequences — like people having their support hours reduced.” Heather then references the ‘Unintended Consequences’ campaign led by StoryWorks for C-Change. This was about the recent rise in Employers National Insurance Contributions which is negatively impacting the people we work for’s level of support. “(The newly reduced support hours is) not just impacting getting out and doing your shopping — it’s impacting your social life and how you connect with other people,” says Heather. “The more united everybody can be, the better.” 

Heather went on to discuss one of her favourite aspects of working for Dates-N-Mates. “One of our couples is celebrating their two-year anniversary and talking about engagement. They got set up on a blind date just before I started… and they’ve been together ever since. He joined to placate his family… and now says it’s the best thing he’s ever done,” she says. “It’s sad for me, selfishly, because I don’t hear from them as much anymore — but it’s good because they’re getting on so well.” Heather also went on to discuss the independence members have to organise functions themselves. “Even little things like calling up to book their own events — it seems like nothing to most people, but it’s such a huge thing for them.” 

In the end, we ask Heather about the future of Dates-N-Mates and what that may look like. We bounced around ideas of Tinder-styled dating apps, more educational workshops, and corporate sponsorships for Dates-N-Mates to become more of a household name within mainstream communities. However, Heather tells us about Dates-N-Mates ultimate goal. “There’s another guy I work with who always says, ‘The end goal is for my organisation not to exist anymore — because it’s not needed.’”