Never Trust The Label

When we are invited into someone’s home, especially when you’re a stranger to them, there’s a huge element of trust involved. It’s a rare thing to invite someone that you don’t know into your home, and that got the team thinking about the relationship we have with the people we work for.

Without trust, what is there? And how do we foster it?

On a recent trip, to visit John in his own home in Barrhead, we were given a very warm welcome and subtly, but there in the background, was an unspoken trust. A trust that we would respect John, respect his home and respect his personal space.

Ensuring that we didn’t abuse John’s trust was Smantha, one of John’s Personal Development Workers, who was on hand to support him with anything that he needed.

More importantly, there was a distinct feeling of trust between John and Samantha and it was obvious that he was relaxed and happy in her company and for her to act as his advocate if required.

Luckily for us, John couldn’t have been more friendly and welcoming, as we were very eager to see his huge collections of CDs and DVD.

That’s where the trust element came in again; there was no obvious sign of the music and film archive that we’d heard so much about, so we were going to have to broach the subject of being allowed into John’s most private space.

We all have the tendency to label people – it’s like a shortcut for describing someone, but more often than not, it is exactly that, a one-dimensional shortcut. We all do it – ‘Jim who dances on the table at parties’, ‘Mary who drinks too much on a night out’ or ‘Frances, who’s always gossiping’. The problem is, it’s not an accurate description of who a person is – we are after all, multi layered, complex and bursting with identity traits that simply can’t be characterised with a handy one liner.

John in Barrhead is no different. Although, to be truthful, his CD and DVD archive somewhat preceded him. He was: “John with the huge music and film collection.”

As we tentatively asked about his love of music and film, John’s face lit up and, enquiring if it was possible to check it out, (upstairs in his bedroom) it suddenly didn’t seem like too much of an ask – but there, in the background, was the ever-present trust. It seemed that we were not only welcome in his home, but it was ok to go into his bedroom too.

The CD collection itself was impressive – very diverse. Loads of genres from the 40s to the present day; a real snapshot of who John is…well, part of who he is.

Similarly, the DVD collection was eclectic – action, comedy, drama, Sci Fi – it was all there.

When I went to use the bathroom, I had to pass another room which seemed to be decked out like something from NASA. Mindful not to just stick my head around the door, I asked John what the room was next door and could we take a look. He was more than happy to oblige.

The entire room was decorated in what can only be described as a 3D view of the universe. Walls and ceiling covered in galaxies, stars, planets – everything space related. And so, ‘John’s Universe’ became a bit of a catchphrase – something that was definitely a little less one-dimensional. There was even an electronic keyboard/synthesiser.

John, as mentioned, also loves a good Sci Fi movie or two and this is another passion of his, not to mention trips to cooking class, gardening (in his own garden), spending time with family and friends as well as various trips to Sci Fi conventions and going on holiday.

When we asked John if he had a favourite musical artist, even though his collection was loaded with the classics: Elvis, Sinatra, even Pavarotti, his answer was unequivocal. Daniel O’Donnell.

And right there is the reason that it is so difficult to categorise humans with a handy one liner- we’re all unique and totally different.

In future, we will also try to resist any urge to refer to John from now on as: “The guy that likes Daniel O’Donnell”.

Let’s all try and get out of the habit of using those one liners…After all, I may well be the guy that talks too much!

Better Is Possible